Warm-up
5 minFriends
Answer and give a real example for each one.
- How many close friends do you have? Is it enough?
- Where did you meet your oldest friend?
- What do you usually do when you hang out with friends?
- Is it easy for you to make new friends as an adult? Why or why not?
- Which friend have you known the longest? How long?
- Do you have friends of very different ages?
Words and phrases
10 minNew words
For each word or phrase, think of a real person and say one sentence about them.
Which word?
Choose the word or phrase that fits.
- I don't know him well. He's just an from the gym.
- I really with my colleagues. We often laugh together.
- We over a silly joke and didn't talk for a year.
- After the argument, we hugged and .
- We live in different countries, but we by video calls.
- I with my school friends when I moved.
- We have a lot : books, films and travel.
- If I have a problem, I can always my best friend.
Opposites and pairs
Choose the right phrase, then press Check answers.
- to fall out ↔ to
- to keep in touch ↔ to
- a close friend ↔ an
- to grow closer ↔ to
- We haven't seen each other for ages. Let's
- He never talks about his feelings. He finds it hard to
Useful phrases
Use each phrase to talk about a real friend.
- I've known ... for... / since...Я знаю ... вже... / з...I've known Olya for twenty years, since first grade.
- We met through...Ми познайомилися через...We met through a mutual friend at a party.
- We clicked straight away.Ми одразу знайшли спільну мову.We clicked straight away — we talked for five hours.
- We've been through a lot together.Ми багато чого пережили разом.We've been through a lot together: exams, moves, break-ups.
- She's the kind of friend who...Вона з тих друзів, які...She's the kind of friend who calls at 2 a.m. if you need her.
- We don't see each other often, but...Ми бачимося нечасто, але...We don't see each other often, but when we do, it's like no time has passed.
- We've drifted apart since...Ми віддалилися відтоді, як...We've drifted apart since she had kids.
- I can tell her anything.Я можу розповісти їй будь-що.I can tell her anything — she never judges me.
Read and react
8 minHow many friends do you need?
Read the article. Hover over the dotted words for help.
The magic numbers of friendship
The British anthropologist Robin Dunbar became famous for one number: 150. He believes this is about the number of people one human brain can keep real, stable relationships with. It is roughly the size of an old village, a company of soldiers, or the guest list of a big wedding.
But these 150 people are not all equal. Dunbar describes our friendships as circles. In the centre there are about five people, our closest friends and family, the people we would call in a crisis. Around them there are about fifteen good friends, then about fifty "party friends", and then the rest of the 150.
How do people move into the inner circles? The answer is simple: time. A study by Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas found that it takes around 50 hours together to go from acquaintance to casual friend, about 90 hours to become a real friend, and more than 200 hours to become a close friend.
This explains why adults often find it hard to make new friends. At school and university we spend hundreds of hours with the same people without even trying. Later, work, family and distance make those hours much harder to find.
So if you want a new close friend, don't wait for a miracle. Invite someone for coffee, then again, and again. Friendship is not magic. It's mathematics.
True or false?
- Robin Dunbar believes we can have about 150 real relationships.
- All 150 relationships are equally close.
- Our inner circle has about fifteen people.
- It takes more than 200 hours to become close friends.
- The article says making friends as an adult is easier than at school.
What do you think?
- Who are the five people in your inner circle? (You don't have to name them.)
- Do you agree that friendship is "mathematics"? Why?
- Where can adults find time to make new friends?
- Have you ever become close friends with someone very quickly?
Grammar for speaking
10 minGrammar for speaking
Present Perfect + for
For a period of time, up to now.
I've known her for ten years.
Present Perfect + since
From a point in the past until now.
We've been friends since 2015 / since we were five.
How long...?
Ask about duration with Present Perfect.
How long have you known each other?
For actions that continue, you can use Present Perfect Continuous: We've been meeting every Friday for years. But with state verbs (know, be, have, like) use Present Perfect: ✗ I've been knowing her since school. Also: It's been ages since we last met.
Choose the right form
- I've known him fifteen years.
- We've been friends university.
- your best friend?
- I her since the wedding.
- We for coffee every Sunday for years.
- I him all my life.
- It's been ages we last talked.
- We friends in 2012.
Fix the mistake
Each sentence has one mistake. Type the correct words.
- I know her since school. →
- We are friends for ten years. →
- How long do you know him? →
- I haven't seen him for March. →
- She has met her best friend in 2010. →
- We have been knowing each other for years. →
Talk about it
Answer in detail. Use for, since and How long correctly.
- Who is your oldest friend? How long have you known each other, and how did you meet?
- Who have you become friends with recently? How did it happen?
- Which friend have you lost touch with? How long has it been since you last talked?
- What have you and your friends been doing together lately?
- Which friendship has changed the most since you met? How?
- Is there a friend you have always been able to rely on? Tell a story.
Friendship circles
8 minMap your circles
Talk about your own friendship circles. You don't have to say names: "a colleague", "my cousin", "a friend from school" is fine.
About 5 people
- Who would you call at 3 a.m.?
- Who knows your biggest secrets?
- Has this circle changed in the last 5 years?
About 15 people
- Who do you see regularly?
- Who would you invite to a small birthday dinner?
- Who would you like to move closer?
About 50 people
- Who do you only see at parties or events?
- Who do you know only online?
- Who have you drifted apart from?
Would a true friend...?
Answer and explain. Give an example from your life if you can.
- ...tell you that your new partner is a bad person?
- ...lend you a large amount of money?
- ...tell you the truth about your terrible haircut?
- ...keep a secret from you to protect you?
- ...be honest if they didn't like your business idea?
- ...forget your birthday?
Personal questions
10 minPart I: Me
- What do you value most in a friend?
- Have you ever fallen out with a friend? Did you make up?
- Are you a better listener or a better talker with friends?
- Do you prefer one big group of friends or a few close ones?
- What is the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?
- How do you keep in touch with friends who live far away?
- Have you ever had to end a friendship? Why?
- What kind of friend are you?
Part II: Other people
- Can your partner be your best friend?
- Can men and women be just friends?
- Should you be friends with your boss or colleagues?
- Is it OK to have a friend your other friends don't like?
- How are your parents' friendships different from yours?
- Do children need many friends or one best friend?
Part III: Thinking deeper
- Are online friends real friends?
- Is it harder to make friends today than 30 years ago?
- Can friendship survive if one person becomes very rich?
- Why do some friendships last a lifetime and others don't?
- Is loneliness a big problem in modern cities?
- Can a pet be a true friend?
Roleplay
10 minThe wedding speech
Best friend of the bride or groom
Your oldest friend is getting married and you are giving a speech. Talk about your friend (a real person if you like):- how and when you met
- a funny or important story you've been through together
- what kind of friend they are
- your wishes for the couple
Wedding guest
After the speech, asks short questions, for example:- How long have you known each other?
- Have you ever fallen out?
- What's the craziest thing you've done together?
- Will your friendship change now?
The advice column
Advice columnist
You write a popular advice column about friendship. Read the letter your teacher gives you and answer it out loud:- say what you understand about the situation
- ask 2–3 questions to know more
- give honest advice with reasons
- say what you would do in their place
Reader
Chooses one letter:- "My best friend got rich and now only talks about money."
- "My friend always cancels at the last minute."
- "Two of my friends had a big fight and both want me on their side."
- "I feel I'm always the one who calls first."
Debate
7 minAgree or disagree?
"Online friends are as real as offline friends."
Ideas for
You can share real feelings online. Many people find friends with the same interests online that they would never meet in their town. Distance doesn't matter.Ideas against
Real friendship needs time together, hugs and help in real life. You can't bring soup to an online friend when they're ill. People show only their best side online.Round 1: give your real opinion for 1–2 minutes. Round 2: defend the opposite side for 1 minute. Use: Speaking from experience... · I see your point, but... · What really makes a friend is... · All in all...
Homework
at homeYour homework score
Do all four exercises, then press Check all homework. Correct answers will appear next to your mistakes.
Complete with a word
- He isn't a close friend, just an .
- We over money and stopped talking.
- After a week of silence, we .
- We call each other every week to .
- We were best friends at school, but we later.
- You can always her in a crisis.
- We have nothing — she loves parties, I love books.
- Let's meet next week to !
for, since or Present Perfect?
- I've known her 2008.
- We've been friends twelve years.
- How long Maria?
- I him for months.
- We at university.
- It's been years we last talked.
- They every Friday since May.
- I him all my life.
Correct or incorrect?
Decide if each sentence is grammatically correct.
- I know him since 2010.
- We've been friends for ages.
- How long have you known her?
- I haven't seen her since two years.
- We met in 2015.
- She has been knowing me for years.
- It's been a long time since we talked.
Match the two halves
- We met through
- We clicked
- We've been through
- She's the kind of friend who
- We don't see each other often,
- We've drifted apart
- I can tell her anything
Finished the lesson?
Mark it as complete to keep track of your progress.